AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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