Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
