Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
bring money and cleavage
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
