yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
