ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
