i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
