I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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