PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
