Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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