You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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