i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize