If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.