Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
