Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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