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• (936): View more from Texas

  I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (61): View more from Australia

  who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.

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