Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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