The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
