I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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