Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Randomize
