It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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