I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
