why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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