Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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