New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
