He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
