Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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