Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
