you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
