Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
