Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
