i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
