Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
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sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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