bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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