six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
