So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
