I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
