Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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