I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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