playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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