I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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