Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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