your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
