I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
