You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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