Sponge bath it is.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
