So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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