She said her name was "party"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
