If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
