If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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