Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
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It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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