i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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