No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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