Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
