we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
