Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
