I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
time to smoke my breakfast
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
