Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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