i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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