Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i think my cat just said my name.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
