sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found your dick twin last night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
