my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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