The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
