Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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