so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
