This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
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Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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