You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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