Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
