The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
