I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
