Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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